Most insurance plans will cover either all or a portion of the treatment.
Content Reviewed By:
SUD treatment executive, national news contributor & keynote speaker.
Navigation:
- Overview
- Be A Friend to Yourself First
- Apply Life Experience and Self-Awareness
- Build Interest-Based Friendships
- Throw A Mocktail Party!
- Embrace the Sober-Curious Movement
- Lean Into Your Recovery
- The Need for Friendships in Recovery
- Resources for Sober Socializing
Overview
There’s a reason the phrase “social drinking” is so deeply embedded into the fabric of modern life. We drink when we celebrate, we drink when we mourn, we drink to unwind, and we even center many of our interactions with friends around alcohol consumption.
When drinking becomes problematic, and we make the decision to get treatment or even just abstain from alcohol, it can feel like we’re shutting ourselves from a free-flowing social spigot. The unfortunate reality is that there are many social challenges to sobriety.
For starters, it can feel very isolating. Even the most understanding and supportive friends may pull back because they still enjoy drinking. It won’t be intentional, but they may reach out less and less because they’re trying to protect your feelings and recovery. There are ways to preserve these relationships through boundaries, open communication, being honest about your threshold and comfort levels around alcohol, and ongoing dialogue.
What may be more difficult, however, is making new friends when you enter sobriety. With alcohol being such an easy gateway for social interaction, many sober people feel as though they’re suffering a social deficit. To add another layer of difficulty, they can feel self-conscious about their recovery and reluctant to be around situations where alcohol is present, particularly in the early stages of their recovery.
It’s important to realize, however, that sobriety by no means closes you off to social interaction. Even though it may be a bit different at first, there are ways to cultivate and build friendships when you’re newly sober.
Be A Friend to Yourself First
In much the same way we have to be comfortable with ourselves before being comfortable with a romantic partner; it’s a good idea to sit down and have a good conversation with yourself about what kind of qualities and energy you want in a friendship. Sobriety has a way of reframing social priorities and getting to the heart of what’s important in friendships. It may even be a good idea to jot down some qualities you will and won’t accept in new friends.
Apply Life Experience and Self-Awareness
Very often, newly sober people harbor at least moderate social trauma that makes them more guarded about inviting new people into their lives. If this is the case for you, work with your mental health professional to identify how your alcohol use has impacted the formation and maintenance of social relationships. Are you a people pleaser? Do you have trust issues? Has drinking unearthed any anxiety or depression that can impact friendships? Self-awareness can go a long way in helping you know how to engage socially.
Build Interest-Based Friendships
There’s nothing like a hobby or activity to connect people from all walks of life. Whether it’s sports and fitness, music and art, food, nature, gaming, movies, or any other pastime, hobbies are a powerful basis for social interaction, especially when they involve frequent gatherings. You can find online communities around your hobbies and start from there, or you can research if there are any in-person gatherings or events in your area.
Throw A Mocktail Party!
Mocktail parties allow you to embrace beverage culture in a safe, sober, and satisfying way. They’re gatherings where interesting, delicious, alcohol-free recipes are at the center of attention. You can have theme parties, invite your guests to bring their own so you can share recipes, or just have a casual mocktail bar where people can make their own.
Embrace the Sober-Curious Movement
Although alcohol still heavily permeates the American social landscape, many people are starting to question its value and benefit in their lives. “Sober curious” is a term that means questioning your relationship with alcohol and thinking about trying sobriety. The recovery community and sober curious movement often overlap in their values.
Lean Into Your Recovery
Many people in treatment form some of their most meaningful relationships with others in their program. There is a bond among people in recovery forged by shared experiences, struggles, and life paths. While you may not be able to make friends with everyone in treatment, they can provide a judgment-free, supportive social space. You can also branch out and meet people at recovery conventions, online communities, and alumni events hosted by your treatment center.
The Need for Friendships in Recovery
Friends and social support are an integral part of long-term recovery, especially early on when people can be a bit lost as to how to navigate life after treatment. Embracing sober friends and having a clear idea of what you want out of social relationships can help you build solid and lasting friendships that will get you through thick and thin.
