Most insurance plans will cover either all or a portion of the treatment.
- Content Written By:
- Andrew McKenna - JD
- SUD's treatment executive, national news contributor & keynote speaker.
Navigation:
- When Your Loved-One Refuses to Get Help: Managing the Power Shift
- Understanding the Situation
- Choosing the Right Time and Place
- Approach with Empathy and Compassion
- Present the Benefits of Treatment
- Offer Support and Resources
- Emphasize the Consequences
- Setting Boundaries
- Involving Professionals
- Legal and Workplace Consequences
- Highlighting Personal and Professional Goals and Aspirations
- Patience and Persistence
- Self-Care for You!
- You can do this!
When Your Loved-One Refuses to Get Help: Managing the Power Shift
I was at my wits end, close to my “rock bottom”. Following repeated losses in family court, a deranged, later disbarred judge, refusing to let me see my two young sons, I slipped into a deep depression, characterized by a sadness so profound that my vision literally became blurry. And yet I wouldn’t go away to a treatment program for my opioid addiction—a totally illogical scene that when I look back on it the only thing I remember was thinking was: ‘But what if I’m away in treatment and my sons, ages 3 and 4, want to call me, or their mom—who held all the cards — relents and lets me see them? I won’t be able to. I’ll let them down.’
What approach could my loved-ones have taken that might have cut through my brain fog and convinced me that treatment was the only real choice that made sense?
Convincing someone to seek drug and alcohol treatment is a sensitive and challenging task. It requires empathy, patience, and a well-thought-out approach to navigate the delicate balance between offering support while also emphasizing the potential consequences of not seeking help. Here’s an in-depth guide on how to approach this difficult conversation, balancing both the potential benefits of treatment and the consequences from family, friends, and employers.
Understanding the Situation
Before initiating the conversation, it’s crucial to understand the person’s situation and the extent of their substance use problem. Substance use disorder (SUD) is a deeply personal issue, often intertwined with mental health problems, personal struggles, and various other underlying factors. Conducting research on addiction and speaking with professionals can provide you with valuable insights and help equip you with the necessary tools to effectively handle the conversation.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Timing and environment play important roles in how the conversation will unfold. Choose a quiet, private place where the person feels safe and comfortable. Avoid bringing up the topic during a crisis moment or when the person is under the influence. Look for a time when they are sober and relatively calm.
Approach with Empathy and Compassion
Always start conversations with empathy and compassion. This is essential. Express your concerns from a place of love and care rather than judgment or anger. Use “I” statements to convey your feelings and observations, such as “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling lately, and I’m really worried about you.” This approach helps prevent the person from feeling attacked and becoming defensive.
Present the Benefits of Treatment
One of the most effective ways to encourage someone to seek treatment is to highlight the benefits. Explain how treatment can help them regain control of their life, improve their health, and mend relationships. Share success stories of individuals who have undergone treatment and turned their lives around. Emphasizing that seeking help is a courageous and positive step can make the idea of treatment more attractive and reasonable.
Offer Support and Resources
Let the person know that they don’t have to go through this alone. Offer to help them find a high quality treatment program and help them make the initial contact and accompany them to appointments if necessary. Providing information about addiction treatment centers, local support groups, and counseling services can make the process less daunting. Reassure them that seeking treatment is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards a better future.
Emphasize the Consequences
While it’s important to approach the conversation with compassion, it’s equally crucial to be honest about the potential consequences of not seeking treatment. Clearly outline the impact their substance use is having on their health, relationships, and professional life. Discuss the possible repercussions from their employer, such as disciplinary action or job loss, and the strain their addiction is putting on family dynamics.
See: Do You Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Change?
Setting Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is vital for both the individual struggling with addiction and their loved ones. Explain that while you are there to support them, you cannot enable their destructive behavior. This might involve refusing to lend them money, not covering for them at work, or not allowing substance use in your home. Boundaries can provide the necessary push for the individual to realize the seriousness of their situation.
Involving Professionals
In some cases, professional intervention might be necessary. I’ve facilitated dozens of interventions where I’ve learned what can only be described as an art form. Moreover, interventions led by trained professionals can help convey the urgency of the situation and the necessity of seeking treatment. Professional interventionists guide the process, ensuring it remains productive and focused on the goal of getting your loved-one into treatment.
Legal and Workplace Consequences
Discuss the potential legal and workplace consequences if the person continues down the destructive path of substance use. Employers often have policies in place regarding substance use, and violating these policies can lead to serious consequences, including termination. Substance use disorder can also lead to legal problems, such as DUIs or other criminal charges, which can further complicate the situation.
See: Court Ordered Drug Rehab Centers
Highlighting Personal and Professional Goals and Aspirations
Encouraging the person to reflect on their personal and professional goals can be a powerful motivator. Help them envision a future where they have achieved their aspirations, free from the grip of addiction. This can instill a sense of hope and purpose, reminding them that their addiction doesn’t define them, making the idea of seeking treatment more appealing.
Patience and Persistence
Convincing someone to seek treatment is rarely a one-time conversation. It requires patience and persistence. Be prepared for resistance and denial, but just remain consistent in your message and steadfast that treatment is the only alternative. Continually express your love, support, and concern, continuing to remind them of the very real consequences and the true benefits of getting help.
Self-Care for You!
Supporting someone struggling with addiction can be emotionally draining. It’s important to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being throughout this process. Seek support from friends, family, or support groups for loved ones of individuals with substance use disorders, such as al-anon. Taking care of yourself ensures you are in a better position to support your loved one effectively.
You can do this!
Convincing your loved one to go to drug and alcohol treatment is a sensitive task that requires empathy, understanding, and a well-strategized approach. By highlighting the benefits of treatment, clearly outlining the potential consequences, and offering unwavering support, you can help guide your loved one towards the path of recovery. Remember, the journey to recovery is a marathon, not a sprint, and your persistent support can make all the difference. Remember too, you are not alone!
